Seeing Red...

Can't sleep...I have to say that I think sometimes people mistake my kindness for weakness. In fact, I am sure of it. There really is no in between with me. I am either Mary Poppins or I see red. If there is a bully, I see red. If I am truly backed into a corner, I see red. If someone tries to hurt my family, I see red. I am trying to work on this, and come up with more effective ways of being assertive. lol  I guess that is what I did tonight. Maybe my therapist would be proud. In fact, I'm almost positive he would. It all started 9 years ago, when my son, Andrew, was born. His biological father, Bradley, and I separated a week before he was born. His parents came and rescued him from Michigan, and took him back to Alabama, where he had been born & raised. I have to admit, being 9 months pregnant at the time, I was quite emotional about the whole situation. He had stolen from a man he worked for here, and I guess decided he'd better get the heck out of dodge. I went to the hospital & had an emergency C-section. My Mom went with me & held my hand. That was the most magical, wonderful day of my entire life (only to be matched by the birth of my 2 beautiful daughters). It was on that day, that I knew everything would be alright. Forever. I called Bradley from the hospital to tell him how our son was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, but he wasn't home. I called a few more times, and finally reached him after we were out of the hospital and at home. He told me to bring Andrew to Alabama, he wanted us to move there. When I said no, his Mom got on the phone and started screaming,"Bring our baby here, right now! That is our damn baby, too! Bring him here, or we'll come and get him while your sleeping!" Her words burned to the very depth of my being. I suppose because I knew that she was capable of doing just that. Kidnapping my baby, without a second thought. That was the day that I truly understood a Mother's love. The kind of love that would cause you to jump in front of a moving train to save your child. I told her that if she came to steal my baby, I would kill her. And I meant it. I've never meant anything more in my entire life, as I meant those words. I suppose she must have heard it in my voice, because she never did come. She never did come, and I never did forget. Time passed & I went down to Alabama when Andrew was 10 months old. My Grandparents & brother lived down there. Bradley saw Andrew for the 1st time ever, through a thick piece of glass, as he was in jail. His greeting to Andrew was, "Hey Shithead". I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I suppose he didn't know any better, but it was that exact moment that solidified my belief that I had made the right decision in staying to live in Michigan. I remember that the day before my flight was to leave, I was at my brother's house when a friend of the family called. "Run away, Shannon! They are planning on taking Andrew! Get out of here as fast as you can!" She warned. My blood ran cold. I didn't sleep at all that night. I have never been so relieved, as when I made it safely back to Michigan, with my beautiful baby boy. A couple of years later, I was on the phone with Bradley's Mother again. She was telling me how Andrew needed to be down there with his Father. I told her that Juan was the only Father Andrew had ever known. She started screaming & I hung up. She kept calling over & over leaving nasty messages. Calling Juan the "N" word. They couldn't bare the thought of Andrew being raised by a Hispanic man. But that Hispanic man has helped raise Andrew into the amazing boy he is today. That Hispanic man put food in Andrew's tummy & shoes on his feet. That Hispanic man hugged Andrew when he was sad, and tucked him in at night. That Hispanic man was Andrew's Father. That Hispanic man IS Andrew's Daddy...It is not the color of one's skin that matters. It is the kindness in their heart... After that, I never let them know my phone number. I called restricted anytime I would call. They always had my Grandma's phone number, in case of emergency. They only called her twice in all of those years. I guess you might be wondering why I ever called at all. I never received a penny in child support. Andrew never got so much as a Birthday card. I suppose I called because I just couldn't blame all of Bradley's actions on him. I knew he had been abused from a young age. He had told me stories of being beat with extension cords & I had seen the mental abuse myself. You know that syndrome where the victim becomes loyal to their abuser? I am sure Bradley had that. Bradley committed suicide on July 29, 2007. Poor Bradley. His sister found me on facebook about a week ago, & has been asking to speak to Andrew. Today, I finally let Andrew talk. He has no idea who she is, he doesn't know them. But he was polite, as I have taught him to be. The 1st thing she told him was that she is going to come get him when school lets out for Summer vacation. When he got off the phone, he told me. He said he was scared & didn't want to got there with people he doesn't know. I told him he didn't have to worry, because it wasn't going to happen. I must admit, I felt both anger & fear at the same time when Andrew told me that. Anger that she thought she had the right to just come scoop up my child after I have raised him all of these years, anger that she didn't discuss it with me before saying something like that to him...And fear, because I do not trust them. Then tonight,a couple of hours ago, I got this message in my inbox. This is it, word for word. I copied & pasted it to here-

"hay, i figured it out eather u can let me come get andrew when he gets out of school 4 summer so he can spind time with us or i can come up there and kidnap him whitch is gona have 2 be kidnaping or freewilling lol"

As soon as I read it, I started to see red.  That Motherly instinct to protect my child instantly surfaced. Why did I even let him talk to her in the 1st place? How could I be so naive? I should've known better. I tried to remain as calm as possible and this was my return message,

"I am very sensitive when it comes to the "kidnapping thing" because when he was 1st born your Mom said she was going to come and take Andrew from me. Kidnap him! When he was a newborn! You would beat the crap outta someone if they said that to you! I will never forget that as long as I live. And then, when I was there 8 1/2 years ago, she tried to kidnap him before I could  leave Alabama with Andrew. I will not tolerate that kind of stuff. He is MY son. I have taken care of him for over 9 yrs without ANY help from anyone except Juan.. Nothing against you personally, but he doesnt even know you guys, because he never knew Bradley. I understand that you miss Bradley, but you have to understand that I have raised Andrew completely on my own. To ask for me to send him down there when he is scared to do that, is just something that is not going to happen. I'm sure he would love you, but based on what has happened in the past with your Mom saying she was going to kidnap Andrew, I just do not feel comfortable with that. I just thought I should be honest with you."

 So, that was the part where my therapist would be proud. lol I tried to handle it as civilly as possible. I just had to speak up. But, now I'm not exactly sure what to do. I need some advice. I am anticipating some backlash from my message. I just don't know...I am quite stressed lol